You know how it is. You’re reading something online, something looks interesting so you click a link, something there looks interesting so you click another and another. So, I found myself earlier reading an article on some celebrity gossip site in which various celebs talked about being bullied as kids.
Is that the new “cool” thing, to admit to being bullied? I hope not, that’s horrid. Forget I said it.
Anyway, one of the celebs mentioned encountering one of her tormentors at a signing. She said the person didn’t even remember what she had done in grade school, or whenever it was. I remember a girl my group didn’t like, no doubt for her twin crimes of being black and poor (yay for being raised in Mississippi, where we’re taught to hate). I don’t remember saying anything to her, but I wonder if I did, or if I stood by while someone else did. Joanna, I’m sorry.
Say one of your previous bullies came up to you now, as an adult, to apologize. Would you care? Would it mean anything? Or would it just be gee, thanks for reminding me of all my therapist and I have worked to get over? I don’t know. Personally, I’ve refused their friend requests on Facebook so if they wanted to apologize, I’d never know.
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You know, one of my bullies is a friend of mine on FB. When she made the request and initially spoke to me, it was really clear to me that she had no idea what she did to me was bullying! We don’t talk or anything, but it was enlightening to discover. Makes me wonder about myself.
In high school, I chose to be part of the “alternative” crowd, and we were called gypsies and freaks, and people would throw things at us (this was 1986). One kid in particular was merciless, and I had known him since 6th grade. One day when we were in college, I saw him, and he apologized for being a dick in high school. I accepted his apology, and it made me feel good. A few months later, he committed suicide. It was really shocking.
I never thought of all this as bullying. I just thought of it as high school.