16 February 2009 at 3:25 pm (General, Silly)
Tags: snark, Steve
Since it has been pointed out to me that I am epic fail on blogging, here I am. Consider ass kicked. Mine, that is. I’m too short to kick anyone else’s ass. Well, Gavin’s, but that’s no fun and I’m not interested in having Children’s Services on me again.
I went to buy Steve some sinus meds last night. Since we all know we just want pseudoephedrine to build meth labs and blow up trailer parks, I walked to the counter with my May I Have This Medication Please card and pulled out my driver’s license so he can make sure I haven’t bought up my full daily supply at the Walgreen’s across the street.
*scan* *beep* Um, I’m sorry ma’am. I can’t sell you any of this completely legal, no prescription required medication. Your license expired two months ago.
Oh noes! Do not want!
*blink* *lol* Funny. I’m glad you noticed that. Obviously, I hadn’t. Neither did the cop who pulled me over last month.
So there you are. Steve is still sick, and trailer parks are safe from me for the moment.
2 Comments
23 June 2008 at 10:51 am (snark)
Tags: atheism, proselytizer questionnaire, snark
Dear Christians knocking at my door,
I don’t care. Piss off. But since you haven’t pissed off, allow me to share with you that I have read your bible and was not impressed. Too many errors. Do not give me one of your stupid tracts telling me about how the world would be a better place if we all converted to your particular brand of mumbo jumbo, for I will have to point out that the christians and the jews and the muslims all worship the same god, and look how well that’s working out. I now have a copy of the Proselytizer Questionnaire printed out for you since this is the second time you’ve come and bothered me. Thou shalt not come back until you have satisfactory answers.
5 Comments
2 June 2008 at 9:26 pm (General, snark)
Tags: drive through stories, Gavin, snark, toddlers
Two things I’ve learned today:
- Having a bandage on my index finger makes it rather difficult to knit.
- A crying, clingy, tired but not wanting to go to bed toddler screaming “I wanna rock!” does not put the same smile on my face as when Twisted Sister did it.
This morning when I had to drop Gavin off at daycare, one of his classmates kept asking me, “what happened to your face?” Yes indeedy, I’m 33 years old and have grey hairs *and* acne, and I just got reminded of the latter by a four year old. Happy Monday.
OTOH, the crazy Americano lady I bitched about once before came through again today and told me that I always make her drink the best and she never has to taste it before driving off when she knows I made it. For months she’s complained if she so much as sees me inside, now she’s decided I’m her favorite. I think we’re going to start calling her Sybil.
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1 June 2008 at 9:44 pm (snark)
Tags: snark, Transformers
Church sign: “Informed is good. Transformed is better.” So, an Autobot with a clue is the ultimate, eh?
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26 May 2008 at 7:15 pm (Silly, snark)
Tags: Gavin, rednecks, snark
We’re sitting in Gavin’s rocking chair getting him settled down for bed.
*revving motor noise from outside*
Gavin: “Whass’at, Daddy? Das’sa redneck?”
*snort*
Yes, Gavin, that’s a redneck. So glad you can pick them out at an early age.
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11 May 2008 at 12:27 pm (snark)
Tags: snark, vacations, Viet Nam
I just got a vacation magazine in the mail. It’s touting on the front cover an article about returning to Viet Nam with former POWs. Yeah, that sounds like a fun holiday. Sign me up. ;)
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6 March 2008 at 4:59 pm (snark)
Tags: drive through stories, snark, Starbucks
There’s this lady who comes through our drive through every day, and generally follows up about ten minutes later with a phone call to complain about how bad her Americano is. I’m not going to say her name, so I’ll just call her Tall 8 Equal Light Cream Heavy Whip Americano Lady. Yesterday she came through and told my friend Candace that she was so glad she was there and not me. Candace was trying to figure out exactly who TTELCHWAL was talking about.
C: Aw, who gave you a bad drink?
TEELCHWAL: Oh girl, let me just tell you. That little bitty girl with the short hair.
C: Um, red hair? Kinda flips it over? Manager?
TEELCHWAL: No. The little lesbian assistant manager.
O.O !
I am so not assistant manager! How dare she assume that just because I have a black apron I am an ASM! That’s Coffee Master to you, bitch. Coffee Mistress if you really piss me off. And I’m bi, get it right. Although I did have someone tell me last week that my accent sounds like I’m from San Francisco. What are you people trying to say here? ;)
4 Comments
4 March 2008 at 7:33 pm (snark)
Tags: internets, random, snark
Like creating a new email account. The internets burped this morning and made my email address already in use for wordpress. Fine! Conveniently, I have 12 jabillion gmail invites. Now I have one less.
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